Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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