Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
