this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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