Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
