There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
