How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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