I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize