Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
