would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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