THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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