I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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