she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
