1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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