I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
