I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
as a side note pls kill me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
