So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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