It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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