4 words: hood of his car
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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