yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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