On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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