dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
