If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
