that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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