and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
