a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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