we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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