Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
