i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
