Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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