I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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