you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Randomize
