Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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