Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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