I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
