This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
