Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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