This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
