what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
