I have demons in me.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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