Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
