He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize