I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
