Whod you bang
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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