theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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