You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Randomize
