just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize