thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
