So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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