you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize