just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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