READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
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We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize