he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
