He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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