Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
