Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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