I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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