He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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