Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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