Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize