Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
