It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
